


on finding love

by Jens



Series: Aromantic Toph [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aromantic Toph Beifong, Gen, Post-Canon, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, background kataang, it's projecting onto fictional characters hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28243140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jens/pseuds/Jens
Summary: Dating, love, marriage - it’s all like an inside joke that Toph has tried really hard to get in on but no matter how many times she tries, she just. Can’t get there.[Katara and Aang's wedding announcement makes Toph think about life.]
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: Aromantic Toph [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033962
Comments: 14
Kudos: 60





	on finding love

It hits her in the weirdest situations. 

Like when Aang and Katara announce their engagement, which should be a happy occasion. And it is, Toph is so, so happy for Aang and Katara, she _is_ , but at the same time, there’s a sense of melancholy spreading in her chest. A hollowness; a missing piece that should be there but isn’t. 

_I don’t really understand this_ , she thinks, and then the thought sticks because that - that’s what it is. She’s excited for Aang and Katara, she can see (no pun intended) that they are made for each other and want this, but she doesn’t _understand_ it, at all. Not on a personal level. 

She loves her friends, fiercely at that, and she wants them all to find happiness. She wants what’s best for them, they deserve it after what they’ve been through, and she wants to be able to share in their happiness. But this particular thing is something she just can’t relate to. 

It’s a lonely feeling. 

She listens to them talking and laughing and crying around her and thinks, _they all get it_. Katara is teasingly asking Sokka if he’s upset about his little sister beating him to getting married, and Sokka is sputtering about how his breakup with Suki is still too recent to think about dating, let alone _marrying_ someone. Suki interjects with, _that was literally almost 5 years ago, dude, get over it_ , and Katara and Aang burst into laughter. Zuko is standing to the side, Toph can sense his presence, and he’s quietly laughing along too. Because they all _get it_.

Dating, love, marriage - it’s all like an inside joke that Toph has tried really hard to get in on but no matter how many times she tries, she just. Can’t get there. 

And she worries, now, worries that maybe Aang and Katara will be like all those other married couples who seem to forget their friends. And that someday Sokka will find someone else to fall in love with and start a family. Suki already has... something going on with those two Fire Nation girls, maybe that’ll be an official thing at some point. And Zuko too will find someone, if not for any other reason than the fact that as the Fire Lord, he needs an heir. Sooner or later, they’ll all have someone.

Except Toph. 

The thought hurts, way more than it has any right to, and suddenly she needs to be alone. 

With the rest of them celebrating, it’s easy to slip out to the balcony unnoticed. The air outside is - not cold exactly, she doesn’t think it ever is in the Fire Nation, but not quite as stifling as it was inside. Toph takes a few deep breaths, grounding herself. 

It used to be easier to ignore these feelings when she was younger. Nobody cared if she didn’t want to date as a teenager, in fact her parents were probably relieved about that. But now, she’s reached an age where her friends are getting married and she can’t just not think about it anymore. 

If only she knew what ‘it’ even is. 

There’s all kinds of love, even in just her friend group. There’s Katara and Aang of course, then whatever is going on between Suki, Ty Lee and Mai. Zuko confided in her about having relations with men when they were drinking together a few months back (Toph may love him but he was a bit too graphic in his descriptions, she did _not_ want to hear all that). Sokka she’s not too sure about but there’s something in the air around him and Zuko, she thinks. If that ever becomes a thing, she will have to bury them both alive if they try to tell her what they get up to.

With all that, is it impossible to think that Toph could just - not love anyone like that? 

There’s a word for how she feels, there must be. She would try to find it but she can’t read and this is too personal to ask someone to help her. So for now, she’s stuck. But it’s okay. She has time, she’ll figure it out. 

Toph inhales, feeling a slight breeze brush by. She doesn’t feel like joining everyone inside just yet, even if the balcony isn’t the most comfortable place to be. 

At least the view’s pretty. Toph snickers to herself. 

*

Zuko is the one who comes to find her. Honestly, Toph would probably tell anyone else to fuck off right now, but Zuko is... safe. He never pushes, he’ll just sit there in silence with her if that’s what she wants. 

“Everyone got worried about you,” he says, sitting next to her. He’s close enough she can feel the warmth radiating off his body (it’s a firebender thing, he explained when Toph asked him once) but not so close he’d touch.

Toph shrugs. “Just needed some time alone. They’re being so... loud.”

“I think Aang and Katara have a right to be excited.”

“Didn’t say they don’t.” 

“You’re... not happy for them?” He’s being careful. Like Toph would actually be upset, which is ridiculous because why would she be? Just because she came outside on her own, instead of celebrating with everyone inside?

“I am.” It’s just complicated, all the more so because she can’t even put it into words properly. “They’re good together.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” See, this is why Zuko is Toph’s favourite. Instead of asking if she’s okay, he already knows she isn’t and is giving her the choice in what to do about it. Toph leans closer to Zuko, still not quite touching, but enough that his warmth reassures her. 

“I’m just... scared of being left behind, I guess.” 

Zuko doesn’t say anything for a while. Toph idly wonders what kind of an expression he might be making. “Why?”

“You know, people get married, have children, forget their friends because their family becomes their priority, that kind of thing.”

“Katara and Aang would never do that,” Zuko says immediately and with such conviction that it startles Toph a little. “You’re their family too, you know. And you should know that sharing blood doesn’t mean anything.”

She does. Toph and Zuko would both know that better than anyone. 

“Seriously, Toph. We all love you. _I_ love you.” 

To think that only 10 years ago Zuko was considered an enemy, and here he is now, saying he loves Toph? She has to blink back tears. 

She also has to roast him a little. “I’m honoured you feel that way, Sparky, but I’ll have to reject you.”

Zuko gently nudges her arm with his. “You know that’s not how I meant it.”

“...yeah.”

“I won’t let you be alone. Even if the rest of them do, for some reason, leave you behind, I’ll be here for you. I promise.”

“Even if you get married someday?”

“I could never marry someone who doesn’t understand how important my family is to me. So yes, even then. Besides, how could I ever get married if my would-be spouse didn’t even have my sister’s approval?” 

_My sister_. It’s strange, how just two words can make Toph feel like her heart is too big for her chest. Her eyes are prickling too, oh fuck. Zuko makes a startled sound but Toph moves before he can get any words out, throwing her arms around him and squeezing tight. 

He goes a little stiff but returns the hug. Toph lets out a wet laugh. “Still can’t handle a hug, Sparky?”

“Shut up, you’re ruining the moment.” He doesn’t sound upset at all though, his voice a little choked, and Toph _loves_ him. From the bottom of her heart. 

Isn’t that enough?

**Author's Note:**

> betaed by [envillapilo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/envillapilo)
> 
> I was feeling some type of way about being aromantic a while back and decided to project that onto toph, that's just the responsible adult thing to do right? haha


End file.
